Loyal, Loving, & Learning

Not Just Another Whitney Post

2012-02-15T09:51:00.000-05:00

Like many others, I was stunned and sadden to hear about the sudden loss of a musical icon. I don't disagree that it's a tremendous tragedy--especially for her daughter, family, and friends. I can't imagine how her loved ones are feeling.

However, a radio show got me thinking...

The DJ's were talking about how Whitney's untimely death has been in bright lights all over the media. It's understandable, considering she was a vocal icon.

But what about the men and women who throw themselves in front of terrorists to protect our country? What about the everyday heroes living right next door? Do we hear about them?

Occasionally, yes.

Most often you just see a snapshot of them on a grid with other fallen heroes on the nightly news.

Then that's it.

I don't want to take away Whitney's legacy, by any means.

But why the obsession?

In the past, she did a lot of humanitarian work--notoriously lending her voice to philanthropic galas and events. She has even created her own foundation for children who are sick and/or homeless--caring for and educating them. However, why are we holding her higher above our soldiers? Someone who has infamously abused drugs and alcohol for numerous years? I'm not trying to bash Whitney or down-play her tragedy--after all, I Will Always Love You is one of my all-time favorite songs...

But, it really irks me that people who are sacrificing their lives for others... people who cure illnesses... people who are completely selfless... are not getting the honor, recognition, or praise that they truly deserve.

Tell me, what is wrong with our society?

Does anyone else feel this way, too?

You Are What You Eat.

2012-02-08T10:51:00.001-05:00

If you are what you eat, then I must be bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. {i seriously cannot say 'bananas' without singing it a la Gwen Stefani} Any way... Emmy must be bananas, too, because this girl is o.b.s.e.s.s.e.d with the yellow fruit. If you try to take one away from her, she will go ape-shit. pun. intended. But seriously. This chick would eat bananas all day long if I let her. "Nana! Nana! Nana!" {Back when Emmy had a hard time pronouncing, "GG" I told my mom she should have named herself 'Nana' instead.}

But I digress.

Are we really what we eat?

I believe this to be so. & lately I've been putting more thought into what I put in my belly. & my daughter's. But trying to eat healthier is easier said than done. For me, at least. I really wish there was such a thing as a Food Fairy, who would magically deliver healthy food to my fridge and tell me what meals to prepare. {In a perfect world, the Food Fairy would also do all the cooking for me, too!} I get overwhelmed with trying to eat ~~perfectly~~ healthy. There's too much to remember: Nitrates are toxic. Organic fruits are a must. The bigger the difference between carbs and sugar, the better. {head explodes right about now}

Since I'd really like to keep my head intact, I've decided to focus on making one change at a time. Emmy and I went to Whole Foods last week and my goal was to make sure none of my deli picks had nitrates/nitrites, artificial coloring, and were not 'mechanically separated' (ew!gag!) While roaming the narrow aisles (seriously WF, you need to expand the width of your aisles!) I used what I already knew about making healthy choices, but didn't beat myself up if I wasn't the *perfect* health nut.

I love the people in WF's though. They're so much nicer than the folks at other marketplaces. Probably because they're hyped up on organic superfoods & coconut water instead of toxic processed crap. & I know it may sound weird, but I truly believe Emmy loved being at WF's. She was so chipper and friendly, smiling and laughing throughout the store. Plus, she L O V E D all the yummy samples.

It's been over a week since I've decided to take baby steps to eating healthier, instead of trying to flip my entire kitchen upside-down, and I must say that it's going well. Are there times when I don't eat *perfectly*? Of course! But I don't beat myself up about it any longer. If I did, I would drive myself bananas!

So what about you? Are you ~~psycho~~ cautious about what you eat? What tricks or tips have you learned to make eating healthier easier?

Loyally,
Katie

Expectations

2012-01-23T23:21:00.000-05:00

Often times, I wish I could have better relationships with certain people in my life. When a friend doesn't call me for weeks (or even months) my feelings are hurt; and I feel unloved and rejected. You know how the old saying goes... Don't worry about what other people think about you. Instead of trying to disprove the latter statement, I have recently learned to embrace it.

There's no question that subconsciously we place expectations on other people. Personally, I try to live up to the Golden Rule of Treat Others the Way You Would Want Them to Treat You. Because of this *lifestyle* I super glue expectations to people, only to feel disappointed when they don't meet them. For instance, I like to send friends and family random, sweet and/or funny texts/pictures every so often. It's my way of saying: Hey You! I'm thinkin' bout 'ya! Thus, my Golden Rule alter ego expects So-&-So to do the same every once in a while. And if they don't, I feel like I'm no longer important to them.

Now I have come to realize that these kind and thoughtful gestures may not be in So-&-So's personality. But just because they didn't act the way I wanted them to, doesn't mean I should assume they don't still think about me, or appreciate me any less. Furthermore, I shouldn't even worry about why So-&-So doesn't call me anymore, or write on my Facebook wall. These expectations I place on people are binding, and leave me feeling frustrated and sad. Letting go of the strings has helped me see what is really important...

I feel good about myself when I shoot So-&-So a thoughtful text. Trying to wish someone to be different or change is not going to make me feel any better. I wish some friends from college would call me when they're in town so we can get together and catch up. I wish I had a closer relationship with some family members. I wish. I wish. I wish.

Through prayer, and a lot of reading and thinking, I've learned to let go of these ~~wishes~~ demands. Would it make me feel good if I had these better relationships? Yes. Do I need to have these better relationships in order to make me feel good? No. It is not necessary for people to acknowledge me. Obviously I think it's undesirable, but it's not terrible. No one can determine my happiness. Only I can.

We tell ourselves we're supposed to be appreciated for what we give to others. But true giving doesn't need acknowledgement, or anything in return for that matter. All that is important to me is how God views me. Now that I have stopped wishing for people to act differently, or in a particular way, I actually feel better! I've trained my thoughts to accept that I do not have the power to change others. & just because So-&-So doesn't do what I *expect* him/her to do, doesn't mean I don't like So-&-So for who he/she is!

Do you place expectations on other people? How do you deal with the disappointment?

Loyally,

Katie

PPD: JUST DO IT!

2012-01-19T15:40:00.000-05:00

The following was written exactly one year ago today...

January 19, 2011

I'm really trying to have a positive outlook on this whole situation. My group therapist really said some insightful words to live by. He said that just because we lack the motivation doesn't mean we can't do it. In other words, just because I may not feel like doing something, it doesn't mean I can't. I have to make the decision to get my BUTT UP!

He also shared that driven people do what's best regardless of their feelings. I know that getting up and doing the things that make me feel good, are what's best for me. I need to try to do better in order to feel better.

It's going to take time and practice, but my mood WILL catch up and get better. And most importantly, in order to gain momentum in my recovery, I have to GET MOVING!!!

My group therapist asked me today about how I can turn my struggle into a positive thing/outcome...

My hope is to be able to help other women going through Postpartum Depression. I don't think women are well-enough informed; are confused, lost, and/or ashamed. Often times they're alone, too. After I come out of this, my plan and goal is to write an article about my experience and send it out to parent/family magazines in hope that someone will publish it.

I'd also really love to be able to talk to expectant mothers at their prenatal classes. I think raising awareness is highly important. I wish there had been a woman to do that for me. I might have gotten help sooner.

I think there's a big stigma about PPD. Women don't want to talk about it because they feel ashamed, and like they're crazy for these illogical, but very scary thoughts. If gone untreated, PPD can worsen and become dangerous. most of the time, women with PPD need medication and psychotherapy [talk therapy]. There is no shame in this treatment.

My current state is kind of an oxymoron--I'm hopeful, but frustrated. I have read and heard that this will pass and get better, but I have a hard time believing it some days. I'm having a difficult time accepting that it's going to take time. Normally I'm very patient, but not with this. I keep telling myself this is happening for a reason--I just need to keep moving to get there. And just like car headlights only show us what's 160 feet in front of us, somehow we always make it to our destination. Safely.

What that means to me is: just because I can't see the end result (my destination), doesn't mean I won't get there. I just have to keep driving.

***

To read about my postpartum depression from the beginning, click here.

Update.

2012-01-13T16:34:00.003-05:00

Let's just get the elephant in the room out of the way:
I'm not a very good blogger
Phew! That felt better.

Now I can move along to what's been happening in our lives...

In December, we took Emmalyn to her first theme park--Sea World. She loved it!

Okay, so as a Floridian, I should know what to expect from the Shamu show, right?

I mean, I should have the common sense not to sit in the "Splash Zone," right?

Ya, you'd think.

But nope... not this girl.

For some reason, I remember the splashes not being so bad, so we all thought we were safe in the last row of the Splash Zone.

Wrong!

The following is a picture of just before we were hit with a frigid tidal wave of icky killer whale water.

We tried to cover ourselves under my sister-in-law's jacket, but that was just a big, plain, major fail. Immediately, Emmy started crying from shock. I got all mama bear and stormed out of the stadium, stripped my child down to her birthday suit, and put on her change of clothes. I was furious for a solid five minutes, then decided I was not going to let this ruin the rest of the day.

I knew then, that soon I'd look back at that catastrophe and laugh about it.

I was right ;)

We had a great time bringing Emmy with us to pick out a Christmas tree. Last year, since she was so tiny, we didn't even bother picking one out--we just mooched off of my in-law's tree!

This was Emmalyn's first encounter with Santa Claus. Classic right?

I couldn't stop laughing!

(I know, shame on me... sorry Em!)

But doesn't every parent just have to have this picture?!

Emmy was completely fine if we were 2 feet or more away from the Big Man, and kept saying, "Ho Ho Ho."

Also, in December, I turned the big 2-5!

I pretty much had the best birthday...

All I was told was to dress up 80's style, and the rest would be taken care of!

Against my husband's liking, I wore a true vintage getup... my mother's Jazzercise outfit.

Yes. I went out like this.

I was whisked away by my girlfriends to a Drag Queen show! ...something I've always wanted to do. & let me tell you... it exceeded my expectations!

I had the best time!!

Emmalyn has been growing so much!! Lately, she's really been into going to kids' play places, and story times.

I was so proud she knew what to do with a crayon in her hand. She didn't even try to color on the floor!

(Like mother, like daughter)

Emmy also looooves playing outside! The cold doesn't bother her one bit!

This pic cracks me up because I asked my nephew to "Hold onto Emmy." I guess you can't expect too much from a 3 year-old ;)

Lots of fun Christmas activities went down this season. We went Christmas trees & lights watching... we gathered family and close friends for caroling, & had a few different rounds of Secret Santa!

Christmas morning brought reindeer pancakes and mini snowmen.

& This little one had a blast opening up her gifts and testing them all out. I'm happy to say, that as a mom, I'm thoroughly pleased with the gifts people so graciously gave Emmalyn. We didn't get a million-bazillion stuffed animals or super annoying toys!

Four generations, yo!

One of my favorite moments this season was bringing Emmalyn to West Virginia for the first time! She's met my mom's side of the family a couple of times, but this was the first time we headed up north to see them.

We (me, Blake, Emmy, Indy, my Mom, my Dad, & their dog, Joey) all hopped in one full-size SUV and drove 17 hours straight to WV.

Thankfully, I remembered to do my snow dance before we left! & I'm super glad I bought Emmy a $10 snow suit from a consignment shop. It was totally worth all ten Mr. Washington's because this kid l.o.v.e.d. the show! It was so funny to watch her ride on the sled, saying "Weeeeeeee..." all the while.

Emmy had a blast playing with her cousins Carter & Will on our way back, in North Carolina.

& she had even more fun riding shotgun in Carter's new Mustang!!

{daddy can't believe he let her loose like that!}

***

I still want to write about Emmalyn's amazing first birthday party.

...I'll get there someday! ;)

Loyally,

Katie

PPD: Journal Entry #3

2011-12-07T18:32:00.001-05:00

Written on January 10, 2011 while being hospitalized for Postpartum Depression:

A woman told me I look much better today. It feels good that people can notice. I'm definitely feeling better than I was yesterday. Yesterday was so scary. I met with my doctor today. Basically, she told me this is going to pass, but in the meantime I'm going to up the dosage on my medication. If the medicine seems to be working, then I'll probably only be here two more days. If I'm not liking the medication then the doctor will change the meds, but it should prolong my stay.

I'm just trying to stay positive, which is pretty hard when you're surrounded by depressed people. This morning was a little hard to get moving, but after getting dressed after breakfast, I was craving activity. Fortunately we were able to go to the gymnasium. And guess what? I played 3 on 3 basketball. B would be proud, and possibly a little jealous he missed it. Especially since he's always trying to get me to play with him! I can't wait to tell him.

The therapy here kind of sucks. Well, I've only been to one [group] session, but it wasn't helpful. I'm here because of a hormonal issue--not abuse of any sorts. I just couldn't really relate. Plus, I really would like to talk with someone about how to cope with the anxiety. And obviously, most importantly is to prevent the harmful thoughts. But I believe that will come with time... and meds.

Enchanted.

2011-11-29T09:10:00.001-05:00

Here are a few teasers from

Emmalyn's Enchanted First Birthday Party.

Let's just say it was magical.

Photos taken by my cousin Steve, and friend Marissa.

More to Come!!

ONE YEAR.

2011-11-17T03:30:00.000-05:00

On November 17, 2010 at 3:39pm, my world changed forever. God brought our daughter, Emmalyn Grace, safely into our lives. I knew nothing would ever be quite the same, but I don't think anyone could prepare me for what lay ahead in my first year of being a mother.

Having a child is the greatest life lesson you can receive. These tiny little beings, with ten bitty toes, and rosy cheeks, are the most important and influential teachers one can ever have. My once six pounds & 14 ounces little love, taught me so much about myself. Unbeknown to her, she has been my light, my angel. At 23 years-old, when I had Emmalyn, I thought I knew precisely what I was going to be like as a mother. I was strong and confident with my visions and opinions.

Flash-forward one year... Ha! Silly Me.

Things like cloth diapering, breastfeeding, forbidding Walmart, etcetera--all flew out the door like folks on Black Friday. What I've come to realize is that motherhood is SO unpredictable. No matter how many baby books you read, or people you talk to, there's always going to be something to throw you off course. For me, it was the dreaded "P" word: Postpartum Depression. Although it ended up being a blessing in disguise, it was the worst time in my life. But it taught me so much. About myself, about being a mother.

Having to be hospitalized for a week forced me to let go of my need for control. It taught me how to be more laid-back as a person, and that taking an infant to Walmart really isn't as bad as you think. (There's a lot worse.) I've heard mothers say numerous times. "I can't even remember what life was like before baby." I can. While I really miss some certain aspects of my non-maternal life, I am a much better person now. You would think that having a baby would make me even more controlling and up-tight, but through everything my PPD experience taught me, I am living a mentally healthier and more relaxed life. I made a new mom-friend last week, and she was kind enough to come over to help me make chocolate-covered pretzels for Emmy's party this weekend. As we were talking and making a mess, she mentioned how nice it was that I wasn't such a perfectionist about the appearance of the pretzels. I thought, Oh--if you only knew me before... Even one of my best friends has told me how proud she is of me for not sweating the small stuff. It makes me feel proud, too; to hear those compliments from someone who has known me for years, as well as someone who has come into my life only recently.

The first three months of Emmalyn's life crept by so slowly for me. I kept thinking, When is this going to get better? This is so much harder than I ever thought it would be! And now, time is moving quickly. The proof is in the pictures, my friend. My baby girl is ONE--even though she gets mistaken for a six month-old. {It must run in the family, 'cuz her momma got mistaken for a high school student last night ;p } My selfless husband, parents, in-laws, family, and dearest friends, have supported me through this tumultuous year. I don't think I could have made it without them. Scratch that--I KNOW I couldn't have made it without them. But I wouldn't be who I am today, if it weren't for one extraordinary being... my daughter, Emmalyn Grace. She has been my number one motivation. I have been touched by an angel....

There's so much I want to say to so many people. & to most of you, I have. But I especially don't want to leave out my blogger buddies. I can't thank you all enough for your encouraging words. Not one single message goes unappreciated. There are many of you who have made such an impact on my life, which I will never forget.

Thank you.

PPD: A letter to Emmalyn

2011-11-08T15:14:00.000-05:00

A letter I wrote to my daughter, Emmalyn, while being hospitalized for postpartum depression, January 2011:

To My Sweet Angel Baby, Emmalyn Grace,

I hope you know how much I love you. You are my world. I also hope you know this is not your fault. I've never blamed you for this, nor will I ever. You are the most precious gift I've ever received. I thank God every day for you. You are the most incredible baby in the entire world. When I hold you and stare into your eyes, I'm at peace.

I want you to know you're my motivation for getting better. I've waited and prayed for you my entire life. It's tearing me up inside to be away from you. You're the first thing I think about in the morning, and the last before I fall asleep. I pray to God to give me the strength to conquer this so you can be in my arms again. I'm going to be strong for you because I'd do anything for you. Always! I promise.

I'm so thankful you'll never remember all this. & one day, if you read this when you're older, remember how much I love you.

You are my world,

& my life,

Forever your mommy

***
To read from the beginning, click here

1st Birthday Sneak Peak

2011-11-07T15:25:00.003-05:00

i cannot begin to tell you how excited {& nervous!} i am about emmalyn's first birthday.

i am having so much fun planning & crafting her big shindig on november 19.

i use to make whispered remarks about moms going "all-out" for their child's first birthday--something he or she won't ever remember. but now that i'm a mom...? i get it.

obviously, i realize it is more of a celebration for the parents; a way to announce--hey look! we made it! go us!

& i have been told by a number of mommies not to listen to what anyone else has to say about it... if i want to go all out, then that's exactly what i'm going to do! she only turns one once!

***

as promised, here's a little look into what i have in store for my one year-old to-be:

^indy was in the shot so i asked him to sit, and this is what i caught ;)

it's going to be held in our backyard:

did i mention how excited i am?!?!!!

eek!! i can't contain myself :) :)

{p.s. sorry for the iphone pics}

Emma-Lamb

2011-11-01T13:10:00.001-04:00

Quick post because I'm busy doing All Things First Birthday (16 days--eek!!!), but just wanted to share Emmalyn's 1st Halloween costume!

She was a little lamb... "Emma-Lamb."

Get it?

bwahaha I crack myself up ;)

P.S.

I made her costume

I hope everyone had a safe and fun Halloween!

{Next up.... First Birthday Party Previews}

What a Difference...

2011-10-31T16:25:00.001-04:00

...A Year Makes!

Photo on left by Marissa Poulter.

The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow

2011-10-19T20:52:00.002-04:00

Florida was on a huge thunderstorm and tornado alert yesterday, which had us cooped up inside all day. If you're a seasoned Mama, you know how stir crazy it can make you--especially with a sickly little one. If you read Emmy's 11th Month post, you'd know that she's been feeling particularly under the weather. Since last Wednesday to be exact. {hence the reason there was no 'formal' sticky-belly pic}& she's been running a fever on and off all weekend. As a mother, it's so hard to see my little love in such discomfort.

We've just been bumming it around these parts lately; & if there's anything to like about my baby being sick, it's the extra snuggles and "ma-ma"'s. But honestly, none of that even matters when your baby is running a 105 degree fever.

Yes.

You read that right. One. Oh. Five.

Yesterday, I knew my baby bird didn't feel well at all when she wasn't standing (or even sitting) up at her crib when I went to get her from her nap. She was crying and crying, and wouldn't stop even after I picked her up. When I saw those three numbers on the thermometer screen, my heart immediately dropped to my stomach. & panic settled in. Wanting to make sure I had an accurate reading, I took it again. Same number.

I could barely finish changing her diaper, as I turned my head away from my very miserable daughter and ~~lost it~~ cried. It was one of those cries where no sound comes out because you don't want anyone to hear you. I felt like my heart was about to burst out of my chest, it was beating so hard. Immediately I called Blake, who was working at the hospital (3rd year med school rotations). I collected myself enough to call the pediatrician's office, where the nurse told me, "You need to take her to the emergency room." I could barely let out an, "Okay," before hanging up and crying hysterically. It was no surprise to me. I mean, I knew that's what she was going to say; but thinking about it, and actually hearing those words are two completely different emotions.

Everyone always says that you're going to go through something like this as a mother at some point, but Geeze Louise! No one ever said how mystifying it is. By this point, I'm running around like a crazy person, throwing things into a bag. Bottles, formula, clothes... I, myself, was wearing leggings, a long-sleeve shirt, house shoes, tattered hair thrown up into a poor excuse for even a messy bun, and a very red & blotchy complexion.

When we got to the hospital, we went straight to the clinic, where B knows the residents. This way, if we had to be admitted, we could by-pass all the waiting. Her temperature was 101.8 by that time, which calmed my nerves just a bit. We were beginning to think the thermometer might have been slightly inaccurate? Any who, my sweet baby girl was still crying, but who could blame her? On top of already feeling so shitty, she's being poked and prodded by strangers.

We basically had a couple of choices: 1. Go home with tylenol and motrin, and if she wasn't getting any better, take her to after hours pediatrics. Or, 2. Take her to the ER.

Since we were already at the hospital, we figured we might as well take her downstairs to the ER. Thank goodness the resident called ahead for us. We were seen right away. It was so heartbreaking to see Emmalyn screaming when she was whisked away by nurses who stripped her down to take her temperature. It's something I hope I never have to see again.

We didn't have to wait too long to be seen by the ER doc. She was very kind and sympathetic to us, which I really appreciated. After a while, you could tell the motrin had kicked in because Emmy started waving and clapping her hands. It was almost as if she were saying, "Great job, Mom & Dad! You passed the emergency test. Way to go!"

I just rested my head against the wall and sighed in relief.

Walking to the car, I was surprised to see it still hadn't started storming yet. Reports had said it would be storming by 3pm, with tornado watches. It was 6pm. When we got home, Emmy enjoyed her evening bath, bottle, and story-time. (As much as a little girl can when under the weather.)

While rocking her in my arms before laying her down for bed, I prayed to God once more, for watching over and protecting my little angel. I thanked Him for keeping us out of the storm's way. & I kid you not, the song that was playing right then and there on the Easy Listening TV music station in the other room was "The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow."

I thought to myself, Yes. Yes it will.

& you know what? It was 81 and sunny today. & my baby girl is on her way to feeling better. Slowwwllly, but surely.

I love ya, Tomorrow. You're always a day away...

11 Months!

2011-10-17T20:27:00.003-04:00

Emmalyn Grace

you are

11 Months Old!

{10.17.11}

The fun never stops with you, little love. This month, you got to meet a lot more great aunts, uncles, and cousins. We're so grateful they were able to travel south for your Auntie Shell's wedding. We were also so thankful for you to be a Flower Girl in the wedding. Mommy and Daddy didn't have high expectations for your behavior during the ceremony since infants are so unpredictable, but Emmy Grace--you were an angel! Daddy carried you down the aisle alongside cousins Lucas and Rebecca, and you sat on your GG's lap and didn't make a peep the entire ceremony!! 

Seeing you in the beautiful dress simply melted our hearts. 

The Florida Sunshine is still here, but it has cooled down enough to play outside in the middle of the day. Recently, we've been taking you on stroller walks to the park one neighborhood over, where you love to swing. 

One thing mommy does not like about this month is now you try and stand up in the shopping carts. Never mind the fact that you are strapped in to your cart-cover, which is strapped in to the cart seat. You scoop those pudgy legs into your chest & push yourself up. & you are quite persistent, my dear! It's made a few shopping trips extra challenging, to say the least.

This month unfortunately brought you a notsofun stomach virus & major diaper rash. You were miserable, and mommy was very sad for you. But! I must say, I'm proud we made it almost a year without you getting anything more than the sniffles. You've soaked up a lot of Mommy TLC the last few days! Since you were sick, you missed your cousin Lucas's 3rd birthday party :( 

Mommy took you to the doctor and you weigh 17.8 lbs! Who needs to go to the gym when they have you to carry around all day?!

Can you believe that you still don't have any teeth? You have gotten so much stronger at standing on your own. You don't even hold on to anything anymore to do so.

You can say... mama, dada, thank you, water, boo, duck, peak-a-boo, wow, whoa, hi, bye-bye; & can sign for "milk" & "more."

I'm so proud of all your accomplishments, and am looking forward to celebrating your first birthday with our many friends and family!!
 
I love you so much angel baby!
Forever Your Mommy....

PPD: Journal #2

2011-10-15T21:28:00.001-04:00

An entry from my journal while being hospitalized for postpartum depression:

I want to get better so bad. I just want to feel like myself again. I want to be able to joke, play, be social... I'm scared I'm never going to get there. I have heard, as well as read, numerous times that this is not forever. And while I believe it's true, I also don't at the same time. But I have to keep believing and staying strong.

I have to remember the good in life. I've been so blessed--I can and WILL get through this.

I finally received my bag of clothes that my parents dropped off. Unfortunately, visiting hours are only on Tuesdays and Saturdays so I wasn't able to see them. I had to wait about an hour for someone to take inventory on my belongings. It was strange watching this happen. A girl took each item out, unfolded it and examined it. She even had to cut the string out of my pajama pants. My toiletries have been locked up and I must ask to use them. This is so surreal.

***

To read from the beginning, click here

PPD: 1/9/11

2011-10-02T09:04:00.000-04:00

My journal entry the first day of being hospitalized:

This is the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. I am scared. I'm dumbfounded. This isn't me.

I have postpartum depression. At four o'clock this morning I was admitted to the hospital. I can't believe this is happening to me. I don't belong here. I'm not like these other people. Only, I sort of am...

I'm here because I was having suicidal thoughts and thoughts of harming my baby. Oh, my dear precious baby, Emmalyn. Only 7 1/2 weeks old. I love her so much--my heart just can't contain itself. I'm doing this for her. I want to get better for her.

This whole thing is just so surreal. I never, ever, in a million years thought this would happen to me.

I feel so alone. This place is worse than I imagined. It's like how you see it in the movies. There are people in gowns and socks, roaming the hallways in the middle of the night because they can't sleep. Some even look like zombies.

I met a girl named Kaite. It's her real name, too, like me--and she's also 24. She welcomed me this morning with a cheerful smile. She kept me company while I ate decent scrambled eggs and almost stale toast. She shared with me that she's bipolar and has been here three times now. A former cheerleader, she was very talkative and comforting. It's just hard to differentiate if she's more like me, or "crazy." I guess I shouldn't be quick to assume either way. A part of me wants to open up to her, but for now I have my guard up.

This place is depressing. How ironic is that? All there is to do is watch TV, read, journal, sleep... I need movement and activity. Don't even get me started on the rooms. Fortunately I have my own room at the moment, but I haven't decided if it makes up for the fact that the matresses are about 6 inches thick and the pillows are paper thin.

After all of my paperwork was completed, I was finally able to go to sleep. I had been up for 23 hours.

I thought I'd fall right asleep, but I was scared. I was afraid someone was going to wander into my room in the middle of the night. I just prayed to God to give me the strength, then I cried myself to sleep.

***

I have mixed emotions about the latter. Sometimes when I re-read my journal entries I feel tense and sad--to put it simply. & other times I feel proud and accomplished. Looking back, it amazes me how I could ever have felt the way I did, as well as go through all that I did... but it also amazes me how far I have come in less than a year.

10 Months

2011-09-18T10:57:00.000-04:00

10 Months Old!

{09.17.11}

Emmalyn Grace,

You are 10 months old! That's two months shy of your very first birthday. Sheesh! So soon! I know I said last month was a big month of "firsts" but lady, this month blew last month out of the park!

{I have a feeling I'm going to be saying that for a while to come...}

This past month, you worked your cute little baby tush off at swim lessons. Your pediatrician encouraged me to sign you up at six months, but mommy was just not quite ready! But by 9 months ~~& another nudge from the doc~~ we signed you up. Mommy and Daddy were super amazed by your "swimming abilities." You never screamed through your lessons {unlike ehem yours truly as a baby} but you did let out a whiny-cry to let us know you weren't too happy ;) But by the end of your lessons, you were flipping over from your tummy to your back. A HUGE thanks to your fabulous teacher, Brym!!

FINALLY, you said "mama"!! The first time you said it, you were crying in the car, but it was music to my ears! Some other words you started saying recently are "bye-bye," "hi," "thank you," & "wow." You're waving "hi" & "bye," and can clap your hands. There's just something so stinkin' cute about a baby clapping its hands, am I right?! You can sign "more" without being prompted now, as well as the sign for "milk." It amazes me how you can do this, and how much of a difference it makes communicating with you. & Just the other day, mommy taught you to find your nose. You're such a little smarty-pants.

Ooooh! I can't forget that you're standing now, too. I've yet to be able to capture it on camera, though.

Speaking of cameras, Mommy's been slacking in the photo-department, but I blame it on the fact that we've just been having too much fun to stop and take pictures!

A couple of weeks ago, mommy & daddy took you to The Science Center along with Auntie Re, Uncle Will, & Lucas. We weren't entirely sure how you were going to react, but you loved it! You played with whatever you could get your hands on, missy! & we were so proud when you sat through a 40-minute movie about animals in the Cinedome. Never mind that you leaked through your diaper and daddy had to change you in the corner at the top of the stairs ;) It didn't phase you a bit. You stared at the screen in wonder and amazement.

I'd say one of the greatest things about you is that you have the best personality! No matter where we go, or what we're doing, someone will always comment on how well-behaved & happy you are. Your smile is contagious, for sure, and you're such a joy to be around. I wouldn't trade any second of my time with you for anything else in the world!!

I love you so much EmmyCakes!!

Forever Your Mommy...

Driving in the Dark

2011-09-12T22:32:00.000-04:00

Since I've had a chronic case of The Writer's Block for several weeks now, I thought I would share this inspirational story with you. One that I discovered during my {postpartum depression} partial-hospitalization program:

Driving in the Dark

-Joe Stowell

I've always thought that I could get through just about anything if the Lord would tell me what the outcome would be. I believe that "all things work together for good" in the end (Rom. 8:28), but I'd do a lot better in dark times if I knew exactly what the "good" would look like.

But God usually doesn't show us where He is taking us. He just asks us to trust Him. It's like driving a car at night. Our headlights never shine all the way to our destination; they illuminate only about 160 feet ahead. But that doesn't deter us from moving forward. We trust our headlights. All we really need is enough light to keep moving forward.

God's Word is like headlights in dark times. It is full of promises we need to keep us from driving our lives into the ditch of bitterness and despair. His Word promises that He will never leave us nor forsake us (Heb. 13:4). His Word assures us that He knows the plans He has for us, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give us "a future and a hope" (Jer. 29:11). And He tells us that our trials are there to make us better, not bitter (James 1:2-4).

So the next time you feel as if you're driving in the dark, remember to trust your headlights--God's Word will light your way.

The Word of God provides the light

We need to see the way:

It shows us what we need to know

So we won't go astray. --Sper

***

thoughts...?

Better Late Than Never

2011-08-22T22:13:00.000-04:00

*Originally written on May 17, 2011:

There has been a momentous amount of changes around here lately. One, being our move back home into a (rental) house for our new family of three (4, counting Indy). Between taking care of Emmy and setting up the new house as much as possible before B joins me for good, I hadn't given much though about the house we were leaving behind. That was until B told me last night that everything was completely moved out. Every last bit of it.

And then, it hit me like a brick. I didn't know I was going to become so emotional about it. I guess I was too distracted by the excitement and commotion of living close to both sets of Emmy's grandparents. And it seems a little silly that it would all the sudden "hit" me, when two weeks ago, my dad and in-laws helped me pack the rest of my and Emmy's belongings into a U-haul. But I think, somewhere in my mind, I thought I was still going to have time to spend one more weekend there. Two weeks ago, I was the last one out of the house to lock up, and I had this very nostalgic, drama-movie-like moment where I stared down a bare hallway, bag in one hand, keys in the other; and revisited, in my mind, every memory made in this house.

This was the home Blake and I spent during our engagement. This was the home we spent as a newly married couple. This was the home we found out we were having a baby. This was the home we brought our little girl home from the hospital. This was the home my husband laid down his head every night I was away from him, recovering from postpartum depression.

I never thought I could get so emotional over a temporary home.

But I also never imagined I would meet so many people who would touch my life forever.

Last night, as I began thinking about all the people I will be moving away from, so too, began the waterworks.

First of all, our next-door neighbor, Becky... A sassy & stylish seventy-something-year-old, with a fun sense of humor and contagious laugh, became a true friend. She was there for me at nine o'clock one December night when I walked through the bushes--barefoot & in shorts; with Emmy tightly tucked in the Moby, as I was having a panic attack while no one was home. And in the crucial days leading up to my rock bottom days, she would babysit keep me company while B was at school.

And then there are my friends. My medschoolwifeclub friends. I don’t think I could have made it through B’s first two years of med school without these ladies. No one understands what it’s like to be married to a spouse in med school, unless you are one. We’ve laughed, cried, vented, and supported one another through numerous tribulations. We’ve babysat one another’s littles, swapped recipes, peer-pressured some to start a blog, & taught each other how to sew. These wives have taught me so much... like how to play Phase 10. I will miss the nights we planned to watch American Idol, but instead laughed until we cried and/or peed a little.

We’ve been through engagements, weddings, two births, & another on the way. Life-altering moments, yo! These girls sent me e-mails and voicemails, and prayers while I was in the hospital. And when I got better, I crashed their game night via Skype. There will never be the right words to thanks these outstanding friends, or describe just how much they mean to me. But I love them. So much! & as cliché as it sounds—but it’s the truth—I know we’ll be friends forever.

I mean, there will always be social networking, right? So I’ll always be able to stalk keep in touch with them forever & ever, right...???

9 Months!

2011-08-17T07:00:00.004-04:00

Emmalyn Grace

you are

9 Months Old!

{08.17.11}

STATS @ 9-month check-up
Weight: 16lbs 10oz
Height: 27 inches

***

To My Sweet Angel Baby,

I thank God every.single.day for blessing me with such a happy and laid-back baby. You only ever cry when you’re hungry or tired. You’re such a delight to take on outings, especially restaurants since you have such a relaxed disposition. I’m always impressed by how well you sit at the table ~~in your highchair~~ like a Big Girl and join in on the conversation. Even when we go to Daddy’s basketball league games, you patiently sit in your car seat, intently watching every little thing going on—all the while smiling at the people in the bleachers.

Your GG still enjoys watching you every Wednesday while Mommy & Daddy go to Yoga. I think ‘enjoy’ is actually an understatement... I can never tell who’s face lights up first: hers or yours? Now on Thursday mornings, your Mimo watches you while Mommy teaches dance to three & four year-olds. I can’t wait to sign you up for your first dance class. We’ll be drowning in tu-tu’s and bows at our house when the time comes, but it’ll be a blast!

I must say--you’ve been exceedingly sociable this month, little one. You met a couple of Mommy’s sorority sisters, family-friends Liz & Maya from up north, and spent the day with your Aunt Dana while she was in town from NYC. She taught Mommy how to work with you on your baby signing.

You weren’t particularlly all that interested in veggies these past few weeks, but it seems to be picking back up. You’re totally in love with oatmeal and every kind of fruit you’ve tried thus far. Chicken has been a huge hit this month, too! You understand how to feed yourself puffs, yogurt melts, and bits of food, but sometimes the hand doesn’t talk to the mouth and your hand forgets to let go of the food. But girl, you’ve got determination!

You are now pulling yourself up in the “corral.” & Mommy was very astonished to find you standing up in your crib one morning. I couldn’t believe my eyes! This new talent of yours led to Daddy lowering your crib all the way.

Emmy, you were invited to your first 1^st birthday party! Your friend Eliana turned one and we were there to help celebrate. The party was held at an indoor play area & you had the time of your life, never once hesitating to join in on all the excitement.

This past weekend, we went to the west coast to surprise our Med School friends Aric, Ashley, & Aidan before they move back to Colorado. Josh & Rachel let us have a slumber party at their house, making it the first time you stayed over at a non-family member’s house. As a mother, I never know how you’re going to react to a change in the environment, but Girlfriend, you amaze me. We were in the car the majority of the day on Friday, missing your nice afternoon nap—but you hung in there until after 9pm... just carrying on with Mommy and Daddy’s friends over dinner. After bath time, you were in Dreamland until 7 o'clock the next morning.

This surprise also included your first trip to a Splash Pad. Seriously, you could not have been any cuter, missy. You marveled in amazement at the “big” kids, running past you. An upside-down pail and shovel were all you needed to complement you in the Florida sunshine. Water was soaring through the air every which-way, leaving freckles of water all over your pudgy little legs and chubby cheeks. But you didn’t mind one bit! In fact, you sucked the refreshing water all the way to your marrow, sharing your gummy smile with everyone who passed by. Speaking of gummy smiles... you are still toothless. The Tooth Fairy must be saving up a fortune for you, with the way she’s making you ~~mommy~~ wait!

If being at the splash pad wasn’t enough fun for a little one, we joined up with a bunch of 3^rd-year Med school students and their wives & children for a Going-Away BBQ. After a well-rested nap, you were ready for round two! Again, you were fascinated with watching your girl friend Story, and future hubby Aidan, splashing all over. You didn’t even mind when they tried pouring water on your head!

*
I think the most memorable moment for Mommy this last month was watching you interact with Story and Aidan. Let me rephrase that.... watching us moms try to snap pictures of you three littles, calling out, “Story kiss Aidan!” & “Aidan kiss Emmy!” It was a riot, I tell ‘ya! But goodness gracious, you were so happy; crawling on the pool pavement, chasing after the two big littles. Mommy’s heart was filled with so much warmth.
*

This month, you started making the best face ever! The Surprise Face. AKA The Infamous Emmy Face. We don’t know where it came from, but you are constantly making people laugh and bringing joy to anyone who encounters The Face. I get asked at least once a day by someone if you always make “that face.” The answer is: Yes. {& it never gets old}

Emmalyn Grace, I pray you always stay as genuine as you are right now.
You make my days brighter and your GG a fighter.

I love you, EmmyCakes!

Forever Your Mommy...

*ps*
Your favorite toy is Flopsy, given to you by family-friends from England.
Your face lights up and breaks out into a huge smile every time you see her.

Video: A Little Pick-Me-Up!

2011-08-10T13:50:00.001-04:00

Need a little laugh? Emmy wants to cheer you up!

***

Thanks for the compliments on yesterday's pics.

To answer your question, Yes! I did the hair myself.

{the first photo was my friend Lauren's hair & the second was mine}

I visited the land of Pinterest [follow me!], and have officially moved there indefinitely.

Here's the link I learned from.

***

Loyally,

Katie

Dump of the Photos.

2011-08-08T14:05:00.000-04:00

Lately, there has been so much going on that I've found it hard to slip away into my Mom Cave and blog. I've been reassessing certain aspects of my life; and I'll soon share, but for now, here's a plethora of iPhone photos to fill your cute-baby-fix....

Loyally,

Katie

A Retirement Letter

2011-07-24T22:11:00.000-04:00

Dear Mr. Bumb O. Chair,

You have been such an admirable addition to our family. After adopting and welcoming you into our home, you never once disappointed us. You have been loyal to my daughter, and are immensely loved by our family. It's going to be quite an arduous adjustment to no longer share in your company day after day.

I deeply apologize for my daughter's growth and strength--resulting in your retirement. If I could keep her from climbing out of your foundation, I would. Thank you for the past six months of your cooperation and support. We've shared wonderful memories with you--including several birthdays, Easter, our Marriage Celebration, Mother's & Father's Day, family vacations--& not to mention, the numerous ordinary, but nonetheless special days.

You've endured a lot while staying with us. You've tolerated dried-up sweet potatoes and poop explosions, never once complaining. And while your name was often mistaken for "Dumbo," "Bumpy," "Boppy," and "Dumpy," by friends and family, you always continued to hold your composure. Thank you for helping make my life a lot easier. You are Man's Greatest Gift to the World. I would be honored to write you a recommendation should you need it in the future.

I pray you enjoy your temporary home in The Attic. I hope you will consider coming out of retirement in 2.5-3 years, as I will be grateful for your assistance once more. I will miss you dearly, my friend. But this is not goodbye--it's "I'll see ya later!"

Graciously Yours,
Momma Kate
(& Emmy)

{love at ~~6.5 weeks old~~ 1st sight}

8 Months

2011-07-17T12:35:00.000-04:00

Emmalyn Grace

You are 8 months old!

{July 17, 2011}

My Sweet, Sweet Angel Baby,

The past month has been one of many changes and milestones. You are now not only crawling, but cruising through every room of the house. We can't take our eyes off of you for one second--because if we do, your puppy's raw-hide conveniently finds it's way to your mouth. (yes. yuck!)

You have met so many new faces over the last few weeks, including lots of cousins. Over The Fourth, Mommy, GG, & Grandpa, took you to Tybee Island, Georgia. It was your first vacation, as well as the first time out of Florida. I must ~~brag~~ say, that you were quite the star traveler. You were content either sleeping or playing with books and toys in your car seat. Mommy was a little concerned about how you were going to react to spending a week with 25 family members in ONE beach house, but you loved it! You sucked up all the love and attention. What was most wonderful about the trip, was that your great-grandma was there, along with all nine of her great-grandchildren.

You were especially fascinated by your three year-old cousin Carter, watching his every move and hanging on to his every word. You were entranced by his Lightening McQueen and Holley Shiftwell, swiping them from Carter every chance you got. You weren't too sure about his little brother, Will, though. It was the first time you had been around someone your size, as Will is one month older, and you just didn't know what to think of him. Will is a Professional Speed Crawler and I think it may have intimidated you. When the two of you were in the pack 'n play together, he would literally use you as a stepping stone to get to the other side. I thought it was kind of hilarious and adorable. You--not so much.

The sand was where we could find you. You much preferred sitting in a puddle of water on shore, digging your hands in the sand, over splashing in the ocean. You only tried eating the sand a couple of times, making a sour face when you did. It was remarkable to me how easy-going you were. You made it stress-free for me to lather you up in sunscreen, tote you down to the beach for a bit, then let you splash around in the pool to cool off. Mommy even gathered up enough courage to 'dunk' you under the water for the first time. Even though I used to teach swim lessons for years, the thought of putting my OWN daughter under the water gave me butterflies. But I did it! [twice, in fact] And you were a champ! You didn't even cry or suck up any water. Thata-girl!

This past month has also brought a lot of curiosity. (Some have been known to call you "nosey.") Before you were even born, I told myself the importance of letting you roam and explore for yourself. [with supervision, of course] Well, Emmy, you must have heard me say that because you are not holding back! You love to venture off, touching every texture, & grabbing anything and everything you can get your hands on. Often times, you are happy to play with your basket full of toys in your room; grabbing each individual toy, looking at it, putting it to the side, then picking up the next one. You do this until all the toys and stuffed animals are sprinkled across the floor, then move on to pulling books off your shelf.

My favorite part of your growing are the new faces you make. Lately, you've found your "surprised" face, widening your eyes and stretching your mouth into a perfect oval. You know you tickle everyone who sees that precious expression. You've also begun shaking your head "no," which has Mommy bracing for the future & already dreading the teenage years ;) There's not a day that goes buy where I don't hear you laugh. Your giggles are contagious, especially when Daddy throws you up in the air, or Mommy finds your ticklish spot.

Mealtimes are going very well. You know how to recognize the sign for "milk." You start humming, "mmmm...", followed by fussing until you grab a hold of that bottle. Yogurt melts are a hit in this house. You delicately pick them up with your thumb and pointer, but you haven't quite figured how to completely get it in your mouth. Apples & sweet potatoes mix were a hit this month (mommy agrees!), as well as pears & blueberries. You eat solids 2-3 times a day, in addition to your bottle. There were a couple of days where you just weren't interested and I thought maybe you were cutting teeth, but nope! Not yet! Your mama was a late bloomer in the teeth department, so no high expectations here.

Thank you, dear baby, for continuing to sleep through the night. 11-12 hours! wowza! There were a few nights where you stayed up to nine or later, but you mostly lay down by 8; and don't wake up until 7:30 or 8:30. Oh, how I love you for this. I absolutely never get tired of greeting you in the morning. In fact, I actually get excited about it the night before. No matter what kind of day I've had, I know that when I wake in the morning, I can always count on your smile.

Your face lights up and a huge smile emerges every time Daddy comes home from work. The same goes for when you see your GG, Grandpa, Mimo, & Papo. You love climbing all over your daddy, touching and smacking his face. Another one of my favorite memories from this month is your new love of dance. I'm guessing you got it from watching your animated cousin Lucas, because now every time you hear music, you bounce up and down, kicking your legs to the beat--smiling from ear to ear. Do you see tutus in the future...?

A slight challenge this month as been our errand expeditions. I'm convinced a mother must have been the first to say, "You live and you learn." Now that you're older, you've embraced your mobility ability, and demand to be unconfined to your car seat. This means extra planning and cleverness on your mama's part. Strip malls are the worst because do I keep you in your car seat and transfer you from cart to cart? But what if one store doesn't have a car seat-friendly cart? [ehem, Stein Mart] Which store do I go in first? The one closest or furthest from the car? If I put you directly into the buggy, am I going to have to put you back in the car seat to drive to the other side of the strip mall because it's one-hundred-and-five-freakin-

degrees outside? Oh, but wait, now it looks like it could rain! Are you as exhausted as I am?! With that being said, you really are well-behaved when we go out in public. I attribute it to the fact that we took you out from such a young age.

This past month also brought your first cold. Poor thing--you were snotty and stuffy for a good week. The boogie wipes could not keep up! But we made it through without a doctor's visit, and I'm grateful we made it seven months before catching your first cold.

Becoming more boisterous has been a new hobby of yours. You discovered the volume of your voice while we were in Tybee Island. Maybe it's because there were so many people, and you just wanted to be heard? Well, we're listening Little One! & so was everyone else in church last Sunday. In addition to being a wiggle-worm, you were bellowing out "Da-Da" in harmony with the organ. I'm still waiting on "Ma-Ma" ;-)

My wish for you, Emmalyn Grace, as we head into this eighth month, is for you to continue exploring and pushing your limits (even if mommy isn't ready), and to never stop showing off your gummy smile!
You light up my life.
I love you!
Forever your mommy...

I Heart America

2011-07-04T14:40:00.000-04:00

I'm so thankful we are free to celebrate our country like this:

& this is what happens when you let your little cousin in on some picture-making fun:

we're having a blast!!

loyally,

katie

We Made it!

2011-07-02T22:41:00.000-04:00

6 grandkids

+ their spouses

+ 9 great-grandkids

+ 1 great-grandmother

+ aunts & uncles

+ 1 ginormous beach house

TONS OF FUN

let the games begin!

loyally,

katie

From the Mind of Me

2011-07-01T09:40:00.000-04:00

Written last night...

There are so many random things on my mind. All throughout the day, I'm constantly 'writing' eloquent blog posts full of clever alliteration, metaphors, & all that other School House Rock stuff in my head. And all day I look forward to the peace and quiet, when my little love rests her sleepy eyes, and I can sit down and blog. But what happens? I'm too tired to think. Too tired to try and be all witty and clever--because truth me told, it doesn't always come so easily to me. During the day when I'm elbow-deep in sweet potatoes and bubble baths? Yes. But not when I actually have the time to sit down at my computer. Wouldn't it be nice if what I was thinking would just magically appear in text on a screen? Well maybe not everything, but at least the good stuff ;)

And instead of running to my computer when I feel like I have something important to say, or share, I just become stagnant and do, well, nothing. And I really hate that. Blogging is an outlet for me. Growing up, I always kept a diary or journal of some sort. The earliest I can remember keeping a diary was in first grade. I remember my grandmother giving me many diaries throughout my childhood. One with a cartoon dinosaur on the front. Another with Disney princesses. And of course, all of them had a lock and key. There was something so fulfilling about pouring all my thoughts out onto the crisp wide-ruled lines.

(BTW, I highly dislike wide-ruled. I much prefer college-ruled.)

I'd write about anything from the "scary gorilla at the farmer's market during Halloween" (True story; circa first grade) to feeling left out at school, to what boy I was crushing on that month. There's something so therapeutic to me about it. And if you're a blogger, I'm sure you can attest to this, too. I still hand-write my private thoughts from time to time, but with modern-day technology I'm able to share more with family and friends. I blog not for popularity or bragging rights, but as a way to document my life for family and friends, living throughout the nation. I never knew I'd 'meet' such friendly and kind people along the way. I don't think I even realized how beneficial other blogs could be to me. I have read so many inspiring, funny, and informative posts.

I believe in freedom of blogging, but personally choose to steer away from negative and over-ranting posts. There's enough negativity in this world. I don't need to read about it every time I sit down to my computer. If I can't say something nice, I'll simply say nothing at all. (Thumper's daddy was a smart bunny!) Negativity just leads to more negativity and bad moods, in my opinion. What started out as something I wanted to try, and received little support from skeptical friends and family members, has turned into a necessity in my life. Now, I am constantly encouraged by others to keep on keeping on.

*

And that's exactly what I'm going to do!

Loyally,

Katie

***For the remainder of the day, I'll be putting on the final touches of packing for a week-long vacay at the beach! Last year, about twenty family members of mine from Florida, West Virginia, & North Carolina met at Myrtle Beach over the 4th of July; and this year, the gang's headed to an island off of Georgia, where we're all piling into a beach house.

Emmalyn & I will be shotgunning with my parents for the five hour drive tomorrow morning. And per usual, the hubster has to work at the hospital :( We will miss him dearly!!!!!! It's Emmy's second time to the beach, but first time on a long road trip, and first time on a real vacation. Wish us luck!

And if there's wi-fi like there should be, I'll be sure to post pics!

Have a safe and memorable Independence Day!!! God Bless!! YAY USA!!!!!!!!!!

Video: And She's Off!!!

2011-06-24T11:25:00.002-04:00

{captured yesterday}

My life has dramatically changed in the last twenty-four hours. I can no longer step out of the room for 2.5 seconds to grab something.

Because if I do?

She's already headed out the door and down the street!

As I'm typing this, Emmalyn's already managed to get from one side of the room where her toys are, to where mommy's picture frames are lying, waiting to be filled with photos of her sweet face.

How did this happen?!?

Oh boy, I'm in trouble now...

loyally,

katie

***

P.S.

This weekend the hubs 'n I are getting away for a couple of nights to celebrate our

ONE YEAR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY!!!!!!

seriously... how did this happen?!

7 Months!

2011-06-17T21:42:00.000-04:00

Emmalyn Grace

You are 7 months old!
{June 17, 2011}

7-Month Baby Stats

***

Sleep

You're still a sleeping champ, kiddo! Averaging in at 11 to 12 hours per night, there's no complaining here. Just lots of thanks to The Big Man Upstairs.

Daily Routine

Here's the low-down:
Lately you've been waking up closer to 8am. You play for an hour ~~on the dot~~, then go down for a nap that has actually been getting shorter; about 45 minutes [boo!]. After your first nap, mommy feeds you solids (usually oatmeal with a fruit). Then it's whatever we want to do--play, errands, be outside...
Later in the afternoon you chow down on some more solids. By then, it's usually bath time {which you STILL love!} followed by a bottle, book, songs, & prayers.

I'm so glad you are such an easy-going/laid back baby. There are times when we are out past your bedtime and you just go w i t h t h e f l o w.
{thank you!}

Food

This month, you were introduced to carrots, bananas, oatmeal, turkey, yogurt melts, & spinach.
The yogurt melts did not go over too well. I don't think they melted fast enough..?
Initially, turkey was not a hit, but last night, you gobbled them up ~~pun intended~~ mixed with sweet potatoes.

Weight

At birth: 6lbs 14oz

Current: 15 + ?

Length

At birth: 20 inches

Current: No idea... at least 25.5 inches

Diaper Size

2-3

Clothes Size

Anywhere from 3 to 9 months.

Hair Color

At birth: bald
Currently: light brown

Eye Color

At birth: dark blue
Current: 100% Brown-Eyed Beauty

Mommy's favorite moments

I love how observant you are. You study & take in e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g around you. I love watching you explore--touching new textures, searching for new sounds, & pushing your limits.

Milestones

I was spying on you on the video monitor & witnessed you try to pull yourself up. Sorry, sweetie, but the breathable bumper is not going to hold your cute, chubby legs ;)

You've started crawling! It's uneasy and inconsistent, but you're determined! You look like the hungry caterpillar creeping through a cupcake and slice of pie.

{i promise i'll upload a video asap!}

Your favorite toy

Anything and everything you can get your hands on. You reach for everything in your sight. Gone are the days of leaving things around the house. & if mommy would let you have my iPhone, that would be your toy of choice.

Firsts

First time you sucked on some paper & gagged on it. {like i said... no leaving things around the house anymore!}
*

Carrots, Bananas, Oatmeal, Turkey, Spinach
*

First trip to the BEACH!!!

{this face reveals your reaction to the first touch of sand. priceless. doesn't every mom need one like this for the books?!}

{you ended up patching up your relationship with the sand, but weren't too keen on the waves. You much preferred to sit in a puddle of water and sand under the umbrella}

Memorial Day
{thanks troops! especially daddy!}

*
Met cousins Elena & David, & their three children, Kenna, Evynn, & Jesse, from Texas.

{i die for this pic. i love how evynn is holding emmy's head & kenna is kissing her arm}
*
You are now holding your bottle yourself
{my life just got a whole lot easier!}
*
First cold :(
But you are feeling much better now!

***

happy 7 months baby girl!

i love you, emmycakes!

forever your mommy!

loyally,

katie

Moving to Austrailia

2011-06-17T12:31:00.000-04:00

Today I feel like Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

& it's only 12pm.

On Tuesday, I decided to be Miss Frugalista and take Indy to a grooming school near our home. I should have seen the red flags when the girl couldn't do basic math. But silly me, I always give everyone the benefit of the doubt and thought, Well I'm sure she'll take good care of my puppy because she's fresh and eager to do well, right?

Wrong. She nipped my poor baby!! They "glued" the cut together & the girl was crying--she felt so bad.

Flash forward to this morning, & what do ya know? It's infected.

{insert angry katie face here}

So now I'm trying to figure out what to do because:

1. We don't have a vet yet since we moved.

2. Blake worked his first 27-hour shift at the hospital, with only two hours of sleep &

3. Emmy is screaming to be fed.

I really didn't want B to take Indy to get checked out because he had been working so many hours and I just wanted him to sleep. But, he suggested he go because he's better at being stern and laying down the law!

{my words, not his}

So off he went with Indy....

Meanwhile, I switched over the laundry {because i didn't want to leave it in there wet for a week like i did last time... yea, ew...} Emmy was quite content in her high chair so I didn't disrupt her. When I went to unbuckle her, guess what little fragrant surprise I found?

yep.

blow-out all over the high chair !!!

Instead of getting all frustrated, I'm taking a step back, breathing, venting to you, ~~moving to Austrailia~~, & will return to the poop momentarily.

I think I've had my share of eventfulness today, what do ya think?

OH!! & guess who's 7 MONTHS today?!?!????

^^ if you said her, you're right ;) ^^

Come back later today--or tomorrow, ~~or in five years~~ when I post her 7-month stats!

Anyone wanna move to Australia with me??

loyally,

katie

Star of Mommy's Blog

2011-06-13T22:11:00.000-04:00

sorry folks, those cheeks are no longer available.

i ate one for lunch & the other for dinner

;)

***

a BIG THANK YOU to each and e.v.e.r.y. one of you who called, texted, facebook'd, & blogged such sweet words about my mom. i'm sorry if i have not thanked you personally for your encouragement, understanding, & prayers, but it means the world to me. always.

loyally,

katie

Our Neck of the Woods

2011-06-08T10:09:00.000-04:00

Being away from blogging, makes me itch with anxiousness. It's not like I have an addiction or anything, but if I'm away too long I get stressed that I won't get caught up with everything that's going on in Blogland.

But truth be told, there have just been more important things going on around these neck of the woods lately. For one, I'm still trying to put together our new home. Little by little, it's coming together. It frustrates me that it's not complete, but I have to remember to be patient.

B started his third year of med school, which entails working 12+ hours at the hospital 5-6 days a week! Can I get an omigawd! I'm actually handling it a lot better than I thought I would. And I thank therapy for that. If it weren't for everything I've learned in the lasts several months, I'm not sure I'd be able to handle this life change so gracefully and calmly.

& of course, the single-most important event currently going on in my life, is that my mama started chemotherapy for breast cancer yesterday. It makes end tables, lamps, and hanging picture frames seem so petty and unimportant. Because the truth of the matter is, nothing else is more important right now. At nearly 8 o'clock Monday night, Emmy & I hopped in the car to surprise my mom with Godiva dark chocolate truffles, a musical card, and a breast cancer awareness bead for her Pandora bracelet.

With everything that's been going on, there's so much going through my mind. So much I want to write, document, & share. But for now, there's a precious angel baby waking up from her nap. & I know that when I open her door, she'll be greeting me with her gorgeous gummy smile. & I'll have to scoop down and pick up my heart that just melted all over the carpeted floor.

Nothing else matters.

Loyally,

Katie

Grateful.

2011-05-26T22:11:00.000-04:00

In case you didn't see my guest post on The Mommies, here's what you missed:

Have you ever tried worrying and being grateful at the same time?

Go ahead. Try. I’ll wait.

Did you do it?

Didn’t think so.

The antidote for worry is gratitude and well-being. It’s impossible to worry about something when you’re busy being grateful. Unfortunately, the same is true the other way around. You can’t be grateful for something if you’re too damn busy worrying about a million other things.

Have you ever been stuck smack in the middle lane of the interstate during 7AM traffic? Do you cope by blowing your horn, or huffing and puffing because you’re going to be late to work, only to get yourself so worked up, you actually break a sweat? And what does all that blood, sweat, and tears (I exaggerate. Kinda.) get you? A headache? Maybe two inches of black top, only to be cut off by a punk on a motorcycle? …aaaannnd, now we’re cursing.

Next time, instead of focusing on the negatives, why don’t you try being grateful? Katie, how can I be grateful for morning traffic?! Well, my friends (& I hope we can be friends!) it’s simple. You have to change your way of thinking and count your blessings: I may be sitting in bumper-to-bumper agony, but at least I have a car. There are people who have never even set foot in a car, let alone have paved roads. I’m grateful for that. I’m grateful I have the money (at least for now) to fill up my tank. I’m grateful this seat belt is keeping me safe. I’m grateful I don’t have to walk to work. I’m grateful for my air conditioning & music to keep me company. And if, and only if, I’m stopped at a traffic light, I’m grateful for Facebook on my iPhone.

Have we forgotten about that punk on the motorcycle yet?

Good! And trust me, it works in all sorts of situations: Baby screaming? I’m grateful she has working lungs. Shins and calves burning after that two-mile run? I’m grateful I have legs to run on. With practice and determination, you’ll soon be riding the “Grateful Train” first-class to “Calmville.” Scout’s Honor.

Now how did I get to be all expert-y, noble & wise about gratitude?

{Hi, my name is Sarcasm. Nice to meet you.}

I am who I am today because of a nasty thing called Postpartum Depression; or “Hell,” for short. The past six months of my daughter’s life have been a whirlwind for me, to say the least. I, probably like most women, skimmed over the PPD sections in the baby books since ‘yanno… never thought it would happen to me. Ain’t that how the story goes?

Anywho… long story short: I found myself hospitalized for a week at a behavioral center. Most terrifying and astounding life-changing experience of my life! I’d like to share with you my personal testimony after spending an additional month in an outpatient recovery program:

Written on February 15, 2011

I have certainly come a long way in this ever so challenging journey. This has been by far the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. My dream has always been to be a mom, so when the foreign and nightmarish thoughts hit me like a brick, it scared the living day lights out of me, to say the least. The anxiety attacks were like nothing I’ve ever experienced or even seen before. I didn’t know who I was anymore.

The best decision I ever made was going to the hospital. Although it was absolutely terrifying at first, it was the right place for me to be. And PHP [the Partial-Hospitalized Program] has continued to help me tremendously. I have learned so much—especially about myself. I never knew I had so much strength and determination.

I learned that in order to gain massive momentum in my recovery, I had to get moving! That became my new mantra. I lacked a lot of motivation when I first stepped foot in here, but I soon realized it didn’t mean I couldn’t still do the things I used to love. I am capable. I am capable of so much. It took a lot of practice, but my mood is finally catching up.

I made a promise to myself to never give up no matter what! I wanted things to change, so with the picture of my husband and daughter in my mind, I knew the only way I was going to make that happen was to JUST DO IT! Even if I didn’t feel like it, I made myself do it because it was the right thing for my recovery. If I didn’t change my thoughts and behavior, then things were going to stay exactly as they were, and I definitely didn’t want that! I took my first step, stayed committed to my recovery, and things started becoming easier day by day.

Seven weeks ago, I was crying and screaming on the bathroom floor, begging to die; and now I’m playing flag football and caring for my daughter like I always knew I could. It’s hard to imagine I once thought about taking my own life, and now I would give it away in a heartbeat if it were to benefit my daughter.

I despised the fact that I got Postpartum Depression. I thought, Why me? Why is God punishing me? But now? Now, I see the beauty of this experience and how it has strengthened me. Every day I’m a little bit more of who I want to be. Every day I become a better person; and for that, I am truly grateful.

***

You can’t have a testimony without a test, right?

A fellow patient—a mom, who lost her twenty-six year-old [former soldier & current police officer] son, to a heinous murder as he was called to a robbery, told me I inspired her. Well if that doesn’t humble your heart, I don’t know what will! If she had the courage to dust herself off, then I surely didn’t have any excuses. I could hold my baby in my arms—she no longer could.

Life isn’t always easy. But it sure is worth the fight.

So that’s my story, and I’m stickin’ to it! I’m Katie. A devoted wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend, who strives to be the best I can be, every day, for all the right reasons.

Loyally,

Katie

1st Guest Post!

2011-05-24T14:48:00.000-04:00

Mommies, & Musicals, & Blogs, Oh My!

My SIL & I recently attended the performance of The Mommies: A Musical Blog and were blown away with laughter. The show was written and produced by Jeanie Linders, the same woman who wrote and produced Menopause The Musical.

The show touched on everything from postpartum blues, to turning down sex post-baby, to potty training, to snotty teenage years. There was something for every mother, whether new or seasoned. The talented mommy actresses has us laughing, dancing, fist-pumping, and shouting "Mommies Rock!" from start to finish.

I was graciously given the opportunity to share my thoughts and story on the musical's blog.

You can find that post by clicking here.

After you visit their site, please come back and let me know your thoughts.

I'd really appreciate it.

with THE lovely MOMMIES

A big thank you to The Mommies for allowing me to be a part of something so close to my heart.

loyally,

katie

Baby Baths & Laughs

2011-05-23T22:06:00.001-04:00

It all started when I needed an updated picture of Emmy in the bathtub to hang in the bathroom. Now that she can sit up on her own quite well, I jumped at the opportunity to capture the moment. Girlfriend L-O-V-E-S her baths! She could be in there forever if I let her! If you don't believe me, see for yourself...

oooo I could just eat her up!!

& don't ya wish you could take baths like this every night??

oh to be 6 months again... ;p

happy monday y'all!

***

{come back tomorrow for my debut as a guest blogger--eeks!}

New Button, yo!

2011-05-21T22:50:00.002-04:00

hey y'all! i created a button! feel free to accessorize your blog with it

<a border="0" href="http://katieblake.blogspot.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i1219.photobucket.com/albums/dd424/loyallykatie/Picnikcollage.jpg"/></a>

***
i'd love you forever ;)
*

{p.s. what do ya think about all the new changes? yay? nay?}
{p.p.s. let me know if the button doesn't work. not quite sure i know what i'm doing! ha!ha!}

loyally,

How to "Grab Me"
Design
Add Gadget
HTML/JavaScript

Saturday Morning Scene: Pedi's & Blue Jays, & Baby, Oh My!

2011-05-21T19:22:00.002-04:00

linkin' up with kate for SMS

on this hot, but gorgeous saturday morning, i brought the bambino over to my parents & headed off to the nail salon to get a little pedi.

in the midst of soaking up every minute in the heavenly massage chairs, i fell asleep.

& while i was asleep, i had a dream i was at my home and emmy was crying.

next thing you know, i am jumping out of the seat.

what a sight!

{oh, but it was a good sleep}

& guess what i found in the tree in our new backyard!

a cute widdle family of blue jay babies!

***

my saturday went by fast.

emmy & i shopped at the mall with my mama.

hey other mommies,

have you ever noticed it takes TWICE as long to shop with a baby, not because the baby is acting up, but because e.v.e.r.y.o.n.e & their mother has to stop you to take a peak??

cracks me up. i can't even count how many people today told me i "just made their day."

makes ya feel good ;)

{this face makes me feel good every day!}

the hubs went to pick up take-out from carrabba's [my fav!]

then it's SNL with ~~my other husband~~ Justin Timberlake & Lady Gaga.

loyally,

Just Because.

2011-05-20T20:16:00.001-04:00

totally didn't realize my new blog layout i created matches our wedding colors.

what a coinkidink! ;)

loyally,

katie

6 Months! & I Spy Something Shiny!

2011-05-17T23:42:00.000-04:00

Emmalyn Grace

You are 6 months old!
{May 17, 2011}

6-Month Baby Stats

***

Sleep

What did I do to deserve such a great little sleeper?! You are ready to go to bed anywhere between 7 & 8pm, and don't make a peep until 7 or 8 the next morning. You wake up so happy, too, "talking" and babbling like it's nobody's business. It's my favorite time of the day with you.

Daily Routine

Not much has changed in the routine department. You wake up between 7 & 8, are up for an hour, then go down for a nap that lasts anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours. After your first nap, you eat solids, then are up & playing like a fool. In the later afternoon you gobble up some more solids. You start fussing sometimes as early as 6, so it's bathtime {which you love!} followed by a bottle, book, songs, & prayer.

Food

So far, you've had brown rice, sweet potatoes, peas, and pears. Your favorite is pears, followed by peas. Next, I think we're going to try carrots. I am making 90% of your food. However, because of the move, and our freezer going kaputz, you had organic peas in a jar. The pediatrician gave us the go-ahead on puff-snacks and meats... yum!

Weight

At birth: 6lbs 14oz

Current: 14lbs 12 oz

Length

At birth: 20 inches

Current: 25.5 inches

Diaper Size

Clothes Size

Anywhere from 3 to 9 months. Ya never know!

Hair Color

At birth: bald
Currently: my MIL thinks dark, hubby thinks blonde... so we're going with golden brown lol

Eye Color

At birth: dark blue
1 month: slate grayish/blue
2 months: dark brownish/green
3 months: brown with hints of green... debatable

4 months: looking like they're going to be brown like your mama, although there's still a shimmer of green
5 months: Brown!
6 months: still brown, like yours truly

Mommy's favorite moments

Hands down... when you laugh! It is the most magical sound in the world. I'm also loving that your personality is really coming out. Oh! And it doesn't hurt either when strangers in stores compliment how well-behaved you are. At Easter Mass, you were awake and quiet the entire time. I base it on the fact that we've been taking you in public since you were itty bitty, so you just know.

Milestones

You're sitting up on your own!!

You are also getting on all fours, & rock back and forth. Any day now, you could be crawling. Let's not get carried away yet, though. Mama's not ready for this yet!
Today at the doctor's office, you said, "DADDY" as clear as day. The pediatrician looked at us like, "Did that really just happen??" It was crazy. Now, we all know that she doesn't actually know that her daddy is called "daddy," but we can pretend, right?! Throughout the rest of the well check-up, she kept saying, dadadadada. Love it!

Your favorite toy

Anything and everything you can get your hands on. You reach for everything in your sight. Gone are the days of leaving things around the house. But you sure are a reader. You've been turning cardboard-book pages for over a month now.

Firsts

1st Passover with mommy, GG, & Grandpa
1st time you reached for your GG
1st Easter
1st night at the new house
1st time Auntie Shell & Uncle Mike babysat
1st time eating peas & pears
1st Mother's Day
1st time in the pool at GG & Grandpa's house

1st time you put your toes in your mouth
1st bath with cousin Lucas at Mimo & Papo's

and...

drum roll please...

this is a big one....

YOU GOT YOUR EARS PIERCED!!!!!!!!

{today!}
GG pierced mommy's at 4 months, so when we went to the doctor today, mommy asked the doc if she does it in her office. She said yes, so we did it! You only cried during the piercing, and less than a few minutes after. You were such a champ!
{i know people have their opinions about this, but it was our choice as a family. i'm so glad my mom had mine down as an infant, so i wanted the same for my daughter}

i cannot believe you are six months!!
emmalyn grace, you bring me so much love and joy every.single.day.

i love you, emmycakes!

forever your mommy!

loyally,

katie

One of those days...

2011-05-16T21:22:00.000-04:00

I have two posts that I've started writing and have been meaning to finish and publish, but it just hasn't been in the cards lately.

And today? Was just one of those days...

I had an "off"/emotional day,

followed by a blowout diaper up the back

(emmy, not me)

wrapped up with a busted kitchen sink leak.

fantastic, right?

So instead of continuing on with some woeismeshit, I'll leave you with this little happy...

does it look like we could pull off having three kids?

we're just good actors...

and can you believe this little chickadee will be SIX MONTHS tomorrow?!?!?!?!!!!

i refuse to say ~~half-a-year~~!

oh crap, i just said it.

well that's it! no more!

I'm soaking up my little bitty one like she's soaking up these florida rays

little missy goes for her well-baby check-up tomorrow afternoon, so be sure to come back to see her 6 month post! :)

loyally,

katie

Saturday Morning Scene: New House!

2011-05-14T21:09:00.000-04:00

I'm linking up with Katie for Saturday Morning Scene

Here is what we're working on today...

Putting together our new {rental} home!

^^yep, that's totally a wine cooler in the kitchen^^

we did not choose the wallpaper, haha!

french doors in master suite, opening up to back porch. i die.

do you think a certain 5lb pup would like this yard..??

...he agrees.

hope you're having a happy weekend!

loyally,

katie

Sneaky Peaky ;p

2011-05-09T17:35:00.001-04:00

Just a little teaser of the pics from our "Marriage Celebration" in March

Just you wait...

this is only the beginning...

Loyally,

Katie

photos by Jovee Photography

A Mother's Day Prayer... a few days early

2011-05-03T16:44:00.000-04:00

"O Lord: On this Mother's Day, when we pay homage to motherhood, I thank Thee, O God, for Thy gift of a blessed mother, for her sweetness, kindness and warmth, her deeply-felt love, and her tender, gentle care. All through the years, as long as I can remember, from infancy to this day, she has been at my side, caring for me, training and teaching me, and guiding and comforting me in every trial and tribulation. I know, O Lord, that this precious gift, mother, comes from Thy storehouse of blessings, and with all my heart and soul, I offer Thee my gratitude."

"Reverently do I pray that I may be worthy of her noblest striving. Deepen my sense of understanding, so that I may be aware of her potent influence in my life. Give her Thy fatherly protection. Keep her from all bodily harm and from distress of mind and spirit. Grant me the privilege that I may cherish and revere her all the days of my life."

"May He who blessed our matriarchs Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah, bless my dearly beloved mother. May God Almighty grant her life, and keep her strong and healthy. May He send many blessings of joy to her and cause her to be proud of her achievements. And may He bestow upon her and all other mothers in Israel and mankind, a full and happy life."

Amen.

To me, my mother is not only a fighter, but an inspiration. Five years ago, she stomped the shit out of stage 3 colon cancer; and now, she's staring breast cancer straight in the eye and taking no prisoners. My mother has showed me throughout the years that no matter what, we just have to keep pushing through. Sometimes life deals you some pretty crappy cards, but you can either feel sorry for yourself, or you can do what ya gotta do, and keep on moving...

Ever since I can remember, my mother has been the most selfless person. She has given so much to me. There will never be the right words to say to describe my adoration and appreciation. As much as I love having her as a mother, I love having her as a grandmother to Emmalyn so much more! There's an infinite amount of love between the two of them. When my mom gets home from work, her eyes light up at the site of Emmy, who in return, gives her the biggest-most-gummiest-yummiest smile and flaps her arms in excitement. Their relationship is truly special.

So, I thank you, God, today and every day, for the most important woman in my life. I am blessed, honored, proud, and humbled to be her daughter.

{I love you, mommy!!}

Loyally,

Katie

E is for Emmy & Easter!

2011-04-25T22:39:00.000-04:00

Like a lot of people around here, we celebrated Emmalyn's 1st Easter!

On Easter eve, the whole family gathered at my in-laws for a yummy lasagna dinner!

And of course, we just had to get pictures of the cuzzies. It's so cute how my nephew, Lucas, treats Emmy. We don't even have to tell him to be gentle anymore. He just knows. He's sweet like that. It's getting more & more fun watching the two of them together, especially since Emmy is really exploring & reaching for things nowadays.

What would Easter be without some colorful yummies?!

The sweet peep treats were made by moi

For the past few years that I've celebrated Easter with my (now) in-laws, they've put on a ridiculously fun Easter Egg Hunt for the "big" kids. Every year, the rules change a bit, but it always involves flash lights ~~& cheating~~ & laughter. Normally, each couple is given a basket & flash light and the competition is ON! This year, we were only allowed to use whatever we could find in the back porch (we snagged a cooler) AND we had to take a running start from the FRONT yard.

My in-laws do such a great job hiding the eggs, that sometimes we find some from LAST Easter! & when the ~~fight~~ competition is over, we all come in and open our eggs to find... $$$! yep! Can we say date night??

You'd think that hunting for money eggs in the dark would be fun enough, but nope! not this year! After the babes went down to sleep, the competition was on again. My FIL created a new game. Not sure what he called it, but it was basically night golf, where the six of us had to compete to get our wiffle ball closest to the hole, surrounded by tiki torches. I was up first & got closer than I thought I would, but it was my SIL, Ann Marie, who took the win with a hole-in-one! saywhat?!

I'm kicking myself in the tush for not taking any pictures of this. I have a love-hate relationship with my camera. I want to capture e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. but then I feel like I miss out on living in the moment. But if I live in the moment, then I don't have the picture to capture it. Anyone else share this dilemma?

I digress.

It was such a fun night! I was so tired by the end of the day, but a good kind of tired. You know the kind where you had a jam!packed!GO!GO!GO! kinda day, but totally worth it because you sleep like a rock? yea, that kind.the best!

On to Easter morning....

It was Emmalyn's first time going to Mass since her Baptism--which she basically slept through--so I was interested ~~nervous~~ to see how she was going to behave.

She was such a good little girl! She spent the beginning in her car seat, watching & smiling at the old folks in the pew behind us.

(Aren't old people & babies the cutest?! especially together!?)

After getting a little fidgety, she spent the rest of the time on mommy & daddy's laps.

Lucas entertained her, too. Or did Emmy entertain him? Not sure... but either way it was adorable because Lucas would gently touch her head & cheek, occasionally sneaking in a kiss & playing with her toys.

After mass, it was family-picture-taking time! I'm so fortunate to have married into such a warm & loving family who have such strong values and family traditions. I love it!

The gang's all here!

Emmy's really into touching people's faces:

B's parents... Emmy's "Papo" & "Mimo" :)

I hope everyone had a very blessed & colorful weekend. I'd say we're excited to whip out our seersucker shorts, sundresses, tanks, & flip flops, but heck! we've been sporting this look for months now in sunny ninetyohmygawditshotdegrees Florida weather for months now! don't hate.

What are your favorite traditions? Did you grow up with some, or are you starting new ones with your own little family? Do tell! Or leave me a little linky if you blogged about it!

Loyally,

Katie

P.S. some bunny loves you....

5 Months!

2011-04-19T10:32:00.000-04:00

Emmalyn Grace

You are 5 months old!
{April 17, 2011}

5-Month Baby Stats

***

Sleep

You are still sleeping through the night. I am so lucky. This past month you've been *telling* us you want to go to bed earlier. You start showing signs of sleepiness around 7-7:30. I get your bath ready, then it's bottle, books, & bed. Sometimes you whine-cry for a few minutes,
but you always end up drifting off to d r e a m l a n d.

Daily Routine

It's sometimes unpredictable when you'll wake up. Anywhere from 7 to 9am! The other day you slept in until 9:45!!! 99% of the time you wake up in a good mood, just chatting away. And when I come in to say good morning, you greet me with a

huge gummy smile.

You get your first bottle (still 5oz), then are up for about 45 minutes, then go back down for a nap, anywhere between 45 minutes-1.5hrs.

When it's time for your second bottle, you also get mama's homemade rice cereal!

After that, the day is whatever we want it to be. We usually head out of the house around this time though, since you had a nap & a fully belly.... you're a happy baby!

Typically, you cat nap in the car, & normally take an afternoon nap.

Around 5ish, you get some more rice cereal--mmm yum, riiiight??

By 8:30, you're out!

Then we do it all again the next day!

Food
We started solids on the 14th! Mama made you some homemade rice cereal.
I cooked brown rice on the stove, then mixed it with some water in the Magic Bullet.
I let it cool, then refrigerated it. The next day, I scooped out a small amount, warmed it up, mixed it with a little formula, & we were good to go.
Little Miss, you didn't really know what to think?
You were smiling and spitting and gagging and allthatjazz!

{It's been a few days, and you're still trying to get the hang of it.}

Weight

At birth: 6lbs 14oz

Current: 14ish lbs

Length

At birth: 20 inches

Current: no idea! over 24'' though.

Diaper Size

1-2 Costco brand/1 Huggies

Clothes Size

Oh who knows anymore!?! Anywhere from 3-9 months. You are wearing 6-9 months jammies for length, and 3-6 onesies/shorts.

You're getting so big though! Look at you & Aidan now!

Hair Color

At birth: bald
Currently: brown--I swear she's starting to grow more hair ;)

Eye Color

At birth: dark blue
1 month: slate grayish/blue
2 months: dark brownish/green
3 months: brown with hints of green... debatable

4 months: looking like they're going to be brown like your mama, although there's still a shimmer of green
5 months: Brown!

Mommy's favorite moments

I am loving watching you watch the world. It's so fun to see you do new things almost every day. You just started reaching for me & it melts.my.heart. I love that you're so well-behaved when we go out in public.

Indy's really taken a liking to you in the last several days. He loves greeting you at the door, licking whatever he can find! And the proof is in the pic! Here's your face right after he got you smack in the face! ;)

Milestones

You can do a pretty good yoga cobra--you're getting closer to getting on all fours.
You are more interested in things around you, and when you grab them, you actually hang on to them now.
You are rolling e v e r y w h e r e ! ! You can roll all the way across the room, and scoot yourself around.
You're making new noises with your mouth, some that even sound like you're saying *hi*
You can tripod-sit, but if you see something to your left or right.... tiiiimmberrr

Your favorite toy

you absolutely love your jump 'n jive! You go to town on that thing! You love the musical mat that you can activate with your jumps. You squeal with excitement every time we put you in it.

Firsts

First time meeting your great-grandma "Georgie" (mommy's gma)

First time meeting lots of great aunts, uncles & cousins
First full night without a swaddler
consistently rolling over both ways with ease
First time in your jump 'n jive
First car travel trip (2 hours away) with JUST mommy & Indy
First big thunderstorm where the power went out (you slept right through it!)
New house!
Trip to the aquarium. You loved looking at everything!

Story time at B&N
You loved it! You sat quietly and watched the storyteller and the other kids very intently.

{iPhone pic}

First drink of water
First solid food!
First time on a swing

{i promise she wasn't squished!}

I'm having so much fun!
I love you so much, baby girl!!

loyally,

katie

Saturday Morning Scene: We're Moving!!

2011-04-16T13:57:00.000-04:00

i'm linking up with Katie @ Loves of Life for my first

Saturday Morning Scene:

it's packing day around here this morning

{and all day}
~

we are moving on up!

to another home 2 hours north
& only 20 minutes from both sets of emmy's gparents!

we're super excited about our new place!

I'll be posting projects along the way.

can't wait!
~
p.s.
anyone spy indy?

wanna play along?

loyally,
katie

Emmalyn Grace Has Such a Pretty Face ;)

2011-04-14T21:19:00.000-04:00

{not that i'm biased or anything}

loyally,

katie

Ice, Ice, Baby

2011-04-12T09:00:00.005-04:00

ever have one of those days where you think how nice it is to bum around because you have nothing planned, but then realize you totally have an important appointment?? like, now?

Hi. yea. that was me yesterday.

emmy and i were sharing some quality tummy time, when i suddenly realized i had a doctor's appointment at 10:15.

it was 9:30. it takes a good 30 minutes to get there. emmy was still in her jammies. me too.

i swiftly changed emmy, strapped her in her car seat, threw on nike shorts & a sports tank, grabbed a hat, threw a bottle in the diaper bag, & flew out the door, sans makeup. oh! i grabbed an apple, too.

well, folks, we made it there basically on time. & of course we had to wait. &wait. &wait...

i kept emmalyn in her car seat & then IT happened. one of the things mommas d r e a d.

the poop.

yep, i knew it happened by the infamous look on her face, but i also knew that there are no changing tables in the bathrooms! WTH? a zillion & one things went through my head: should I go all the way back out to my car {which is in BFE by.the.way}?should i ask to use one of their rooms? OR should i just strip her down to her skivvies & let everyone smell the *sweet* smell of formula-poo?

[if you're thinking why didn't you just change her in the exam room? well it's not that kinda doc. it's my ppd meds doc.]

i made a pack with myself... if the doctor doesn't call me in within 2 minutes, i'll change her diaper. if not, emmy will just have to take one for the team.

well, emmy took one for the team... {bad mommy}

on the plus side, we were only in there for 7-8 minutes. don't you love that? wait 5 hours to see the doc, then only actually see her for five seconds??

i digress.

so after the appointment, i redeemed my good-mommy points by changing emmy in the back of my SUV. phew... moving on...

em & i decided to take a little detour to see our new casa since it's on the way back.

well imagine my reaction when i went to open the freezer & couldn't open it...

grrreeeeaat.

i pulled. & i pulled. & i pulled that sucker until BAM! it flew open & i saw the biggest icicle florida has ever seen. this was some vermont vanilla ice, yo.

this huge cylinder block of ice was frozen solid {duh} to the freezer door.

silly little me didn't know what to do really, so i just started trying to pry it off. a few chunks came off from the top & bottom, but this baby wasn't budging. {don't forget that we haven't actually moved in yet, so i have nothing to help me except paper towels & a garbage bag.} i soaked a paper towel in hot water & tried to melt the ice. i realized that was going to take for.ev.er.

nix that!

emmy was starting to get ~~fussy~~ impatient so i decided to call it a day & figure out what to do later. i went to shut the door & what do you know? it!won't!shut!

yea.... i couldn't just leave it open over night? it would melt & i'd have a big mess right?

what to do? what to do? i did the only thing probable... i began pulling the ice off with all.my.might. totally ingenious right? [sarcasm, if you don't already know my by now...]

BUT! lucky for me i have some major guns from pumping so much iron ;)

i gave it all i had and.....

TaDa!!

success.

{and this was after i had pulled chunks off of it!}

what would you have done?

loyally,

katie

BAM!

2011-04-09T08:00:00.003-04:00

a year ago to the day,

i received some {ehem, shall i say} surprising news.

i went in to the doctor on a friday afternoon,

thinking i had a uti,

and walked out

with!a!baby!

yup.

i always imagined how happy & excited i would be when i'd find out i was pregnant one day.

but when the nervous nurse told me this shocking news,

i felt terrified instead of ecstatic.

suddenly my dreams of becoming a mom felt foreign.

since april 9th 2010,

my life has been a *whirlwind*

engaged.

married.

baby.
bam!

this past year has been the most memorable year of my life, to date.
i have changed, & grown, & all for the better.
i love who i am now so much more than a year ago.

i became a mother.

& you, emmalyn grace, made me a mommy.

{i love you}

so... happy oneyearfindingoutimpregnantanniversary, to me ;)

loyally,

katie

Introducing....

2011-04-05T22:46:00.000-04:00

...our new home!

{sorry it's a crummy pic, but i took it with my phone as we were driving by before we officially crossed our T's}

i am so happy blake & i found a place to live. it's about 20 minutes away from our parents & 11 minutes away from the hospital blake will be interning at.

perfecto!

it's a cute & quaint starter(rental)home with an amazing back yard. & there's plenty of work to be done!

oh, the house is nicely kept & recently remodeled, but umm... there's only one little problem.

we don't have any furniture.

emmy does. but we don't.

see, the first house we moved into when blake started med school was furnished. convenient for us since we were straight outta college & would only be living there for two years.

but now?

now, we'd kinda like a comfy place to lay our pretty little heads.

& that's where the stress fun comes in.

i've been hanging out at all the local thrifts & consignment shops lately with my girl. she's a terrific little shopper & we've been having lotsa fun perusing for great finds.

i'll be updating y'all on our nesting journey.

hopefully i'll make it to home depot to pick out paint colors

ooooh i can't wait!!

do you have any favorite thrifty finds? do you love {or not so love} decorating your home? what's your style? do you have any favorite go-to decorating sites? do share!

loyally,

katie

i lost my vlog card

2011-03-30T17:05:00.001-04:00

disclaimer

#1 sorry about the but umm yeah's

#2 sorry about the hair bangs flipping

#3 I swear I'm not naked!!

#4 I hope it worked..? 

loyally,
katie
{& indy}

wouldn't change a thing,

2011-03-29T17:40:00.000-04:00

tomorrow, emmy, indy, and i are headed out the door to visit our hubby/daddy. & to be honest, i'm a little nervous. it's the first time i've been back to 'our home' since the postpartum depression started & i had to move back home. blake's come and visited us here numerous weekends, but i've yet to go see him. a part of me is really excited to go back because, well let's face it, three-fourths of my closet is still there... but the other part is scared to go back to the place where i hit rock bottom. i know it's impossible not to have ptsd, but i have to remember how far i've come since then.

i have learned a lot about myself, & am more confident as a person & mother because i have seen what i'm capable of. i know i haven't really talked about my ppd a lot, although i really want to since i think there's a big fat stigma sticker slapped onto it, that needs to be ripped off like a bandaid. it's something that no one can really understand unless they've been through it before, but i think all mothers can agree that having a child is a lot more difficult than you imagined, and sometimes you think to yourself: no other mother could possibly be going through what i'm going through. & there are a lot of moms who don't ever really share how they're feeling. fortunately, i have found many fellow mom-bloggers whom have shared quite a bit, which i am grateful for & think more women should do. just sayin'

but the truth of the matter is, this shit is hard. no amount of babysitting, nannying, or schooling can prepare you as a mother. sure, i knew a thing or two about swaddling & diapering, but the hormones? pshhleeaase... you can't prepare or practice for that in lamaze class.

with that being said, i am now well aware of how to deal with it should there ever be a round 2. & i am also able to empathize with other women with ppd. the irony of it all is that i'm actually glad i went through all that i did. it has made me into a better person than i was before getting pregnant. believe it.

& even though it has taken me forever & a day to write this because i have a low-grade-feverish-baby-because-she-just-got-shots-yesterday-strapped-to-the-front-of me, i wouldn't change a thing.

so tomorrow, we're off to see our #1 man. say a little prayer?

loyally,

katie

Big Girl

2011-03-28T23:16:00.000-04:00

Lookie who went to the doctor today for her 4-month well-baby check-up!

She was such a good girl, considering we had to wait an hour, and she was nakey most of the time. Poor chick.

She smiled at the nurses and the doctor when she came in.

But then.

Then the shots came.

And tears.

From both of us.

Daddy went with Emmy for her two-month shots since I was sick, so this was the first time I had seen the most pitiful face on the entire planet.

moms.heart.dropped.

But! she ~~mommy~~ survived, and eventually calmed down.

{I'm just glad it's over}

***

Miss Em weighs 13lbs 8oz (50th %ile)

is 24.5in long (55th %ile)

***

Oh! & we got the go-head to start solids. eek! I can't believe it! already??? saywhat?!

time for bed... g'night y'all!

loyally,

katie

(Coincidentally, Emmy's new pediatrician did her internship at the same hospital B will be starting at this June!!)

Twins!

2011-03-27T21:33:00.001-04:00

okay, well not really, but they sure are adorable!

if you couldn't tell by the chubs, emmy is on the right ;)

the other little cutie is will, my cousin holly's littlest one, who is a month & two days older than emmy... but emmy sure beats him in the weight department ;)

can i get an awwww...?

loyally,

katie

don't know why the pic wasn't working earlier

let me know if you still can't see it :)

Blessed.

2011-03-24T22:32:00.001-04:00

This past weekend is something I'll always remember.
For many reasons...

Emmalyn met her great-grandmother for the first time.
Emmalyn met many aunts, uncles, & cousins.
Emmalyn watched her mommy & daddy reaffirm their love for one another.

It was a weekend filled with
love, laughter, & happily ever afters.

...more to come...
{but click here for a little more in case you just can't wait}

loyally,

katie

4 Months & Whoopsie Daisies!!

2011-03-17T15:06:00.001-04:00

If you stopped by earlier, you may have noticed something out of the ordinary. Perhaps, Emmalyn looked a little different in her pictures? Perhaps, maybe, it was because the pictures were not actually of Emmalyn...?? Perhaps they were of Little Miss Elli over at From Mrs. to Mama...?

Before you think I'm a total crazy person, let me explain...

I copy/pasted Elli's mommy's format of her 4 month post on Elli. I deleted Elli's info/stats/pictures, and replaced them with Emmalyn's, naturally. Well, I got a super nice e-mail from Elli's mama letting me know that Elli's pictures were on my blog. what.the.H?! I previewed and previewed and checked and checked my blog, numerous times... you know, for typos and what-not. Never once did I see pictures of anyone else but Emmalyn. But, sure enough, when I checked my blog from my phone... there was all of my information & pics of my daughter, BUT also pics of Elli.

I immediately apologized to Elli's mommy--I felt terribly awful!

Let me just say that I am using my parents' ~~stone-age~~ computer. This never would have happened on my Mac, back home. (This is also why my pictures are small and grainy.. blech!) I canNOT wait until we move in (April 1st!) to our new house and I can get back to my Mac.

OK! So I hope that cleared things up.

Now, for the re-post of Emmy's 4-Month Update:

Emmalyn Grace,

Today you are four months old. & I am having the most fun with you! Your bubbly personality is a constant reminder to me just how wonderful life is. There's no way I can have a bad day with you around. Sometimes, if I'm expressing a frustrating moment to someone, & I see you flash a big gummy-smile at me, I literally forget what I was talking about. I've been told by many people that you're the best baby they've ever seen--and I agree! [no biases here, of course} I love watching you grow everyday, finding new things you can do. I am looking forward to moving in to our new house with Daddy and Indy. There's a nice porch to shade you from the sun, & a big fenced-in yard for you to run and play in {not anytime soon though!} I could go on and on, and I will in your baby books, but thank you, my sweet angel baby, Emmy, for making me a better person.

Forever Your Mommy...

4-Month Baby Stats

***

Sleep

The angels have blessed me in this department, kid. My darling daughter, you go to bed around 10 or 10:30, and don't wake up until 8:30 or 9am. You have been doing this since you were six weeks old! You are still sleeping in my room (or shall I say your grandparents' guest room since we are in between houses and cities). Most nights you wake me up with little mouse-like squeaks and giggles. Yes, you giggle in your sleep. It's hilarious. Oh, and we can totally make noise around the house, while you're asleep, and it does.not.phase.you. I'm talking, vacuuming, phone ringing, dog barking, doorbell ringing kind of noise... yipeee!

Daily Routine

I've tried writing down your routine, and it's just not practical. I can pretty much predict how the day will go until around noon, but that's about it. Most of the time you wake up around 8:30am, & this is one of my most favorite times of the day with you. When I go in to get you out of bed, you have the biggest smile on your face...always!! I love it! I let you stretch on the bed, & we have a little "chit-chat." Then, when I change your diaper, I sing you our three "Good morning" songs. You just smile and coo along...

After your first bottle, I'll set you in the Bumbo while I either eat ~~if I didn't get a chance earlier~~, or finish getting ready. You love to watch your mommy beautify herself. Then, within the hour you start rubbing your eyes and I know it's time for your morning nap. Normally, you'll nap for another two hours. After that, it's usually time for another bottle.

The rest of the day is pretty flexible. If it's a stay-at-home-kinda-day, we'll alternate between tummy time on your activity mat, reading books, sitting outside in the shade, and following mommy around the house in your Bumbo. You love to sit on mommy's lap and "talk." It's like we're having our own secret conversation....

If we venture out, you're always so well-behaved. You're either sleeping soundly or lifting your head to look around. {I'm guessing you're going to save your in-the-middle-of-target-tantrums for a later time?}

Anywhere between 9:30 & 10pm, you get a bath. And baby girl, you L-O-V-E your baths. You're definitely like your mama in this way. You just lay back (in the sink, still--but not for long), while I pour warm water all over you. You don't even mind when I let water drip down your face.

Food

You are eating 5oz of formula, approximately every three hours, unless of course you are snoozing. I used to stop to burp you a couple of times during the feeding, but you started getting a little attitude if I took the bottle out of your mouth =P

Apparently, we are going to start solid foods this month. {will find out more at your next appointment}

Weight

At birth: 6lbs 14oz

A few days ago: 13lbs 2oz

{but this was done with the 'ole mom-stands-on-the-scale-first-then-subtracts-from-combined-weight-method. totally accurate}

Length

At birth: 20 inches

Current: No idea. But you have your four-month check-up on the 28th so we'll find out then!

Diaper Size

You are wearing size 1-2 Costco diapers. These seem to be working the best on you. Sorry Pampers, but you did not hold up well in the blow-out test.

Clothes Size

I do not understand baby clothes sizes! No two of the same sizes are actually alike! {what gives?!?} You are mostly wearing 3-6 months, although you can still fit into some 0-3 and just 6 months. Makes no sense to me... This week, mommy's going to go through your newborn clothes and pack them away [insert.tears.here]

Hair Color

At birth: bald
Currently: wellll... in pictures it looks like you're still bald, but up close, it's light brown in the back and blond on the top. But I'm not holding my breath that you'll grow more hair anytime soon ;)

Eye Color

At birth: dark blue
1 month: slate grayish/blue
2 months: dark brownish/green
3 months: brown with hints of green... debatable

4 months: looking like they're going to be brown like your mama, although there's still a shimmer of green

Mommy's favorite moments

I cannot get enough of your smiles and giggles. You do it all.the.time. I love when I catch you looking at me, staring and studying my face so intently.

BUT I think my most fav.or.ite. moment is when I lay you down in your bed at night, while you're still awake... I say a little prayer, kiss you goodnight, & you show me the biggest!smile!ever!

{melts mommy's heart every time}

Milestones

When on your stomach, you are holding your head up for much longer periods of times. ...Sometimes you don't even put your head down!
You are TheDroolingQueen, emmycakes. I should invest in bib stock with how many bibs we go through a day! And you are constantly trying to gnaw on things.

You started laughing out loud. Like, full-on belly laughs!! zomg i love it!

You're following objects that are at a farther distance. & whenever I walk across the room, you stop what you're doing to follow me.

You are holding your head up nice and strong when you sit in your Bumbo.

You started reaching for items and grabbing onto them--although they don't keep your attention for too long. The other night, I had you in your Bumbo next to a shoebox and you leaned over & grabbed that sucker, pulling it over to you. {Perhaps you've inherited your daddy's love for shoes?}

You've started squealing in delight, especially if you like the song mommy's singing.

You are continuing to roll over from your stomach-to-back, but have been doing this since you were a month old.

We're still working on back-to-stomach... you can almost get flat on your stomach, but you haven't quite figured out how to pull your arm out from under you.
The swaddler has been our best friend since day one {works like a charm every time} but two days ago, I thought we'd see how you did in just a sleeper. My girl, you did great! Still didn't wake up once :)

You make razzberries.

& You try to stand up.

Your favorite toy

You pretty much know how to entertain yourself. But I must say, you love to read/look at books. One day, I was reading a kid's first-bible-book-of-sorts... you sat on my lap & let me read eighty pages to you!! {yes, that's eight-zero...80!} I kept looking down to see if you were really looking, and sure enough--you were following along!

Firsts

First trip to the zoo with mommy, Auntie Re (your godmother) & cousin Lucas. You basically slept in the stroller the whole time, and never once fussed!

Watched mommy play at her flag football game

You've started rubbing your eyes when you're sleepy

You found your feet!

MET AUNT DANA from NYC (aka mom's BFF)!!!

let out a REAL.BIG.LAUGH! {courtesy aunt dana}

First picnic by the lake with mommy & daddy

First cold, unfortunately :( But it didn't seem to bother you the least! Just a ~~very~~ snotty nose and baby coughs. Mommy caught it though, and felt miserable all weekend. boo

First St. Patty's Day (today!}

***

& in just one.short.day...

you will meet your great-grandma from West Virginia.

As well as aunts, uncles, and lots of cuzzies!

!!! WE CAN'T WAIT !!!

loyally,

katie

P.S.

hey y'all!! please let me know if i fixed it. it seemed to have worked  when i viewed it from my phone, but let me know! thanks for  understanding :) 